Sunday, December 16, 2007

Spam (REAL spam)

Recently I received one of those forwarded mails that seem to be floating endlessly around the internet. You delete them over and over again, only to find someone else sending you the same message.

It gets pretty annoying.

Probably the thing I hate most about these chain mails is the immense length of that list of email addresses you have to scroll through. I'm sure you know what I mean.

So what happened was I received a mail claiming that Microsoft would give me lots of money if I forwarded it to my many Uncles, Aunties and friends.

Here something that you might want to read it was on the news .
Subject: FW: PLEEEEEASE READ!!!! It was on the news!

Dear friends,

Something to share with all of u. Would u believe if this is true? Read on..... For those who need money badly and this is one opportunity to try it! I'm an attorney, and I know the law. This thing is for real. Rest assured AOL and Intel will follow through with their promises for fear of facing a multimillion-dollar class action suit similar to the one filed by PepsiCo against General Electric not too long ago.

Dear Friends,

Please do not take this for a junk letter. Bill Gates is sharing his fortune. If you ignore this you will repent later. Microsoft and AOL are now the largest Internet companies and in an effort to make sure that Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program, Microsoft and AOL are running an e-mail beta test. When you forward this e-mail to friends, Microsoft can and will track it (if you are a Microsoft Windows user) for a two week time period. For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will pay you $245.00, for every person that you sent it to that forwards it on, Microsoft will pay you $243.00 and for every third person that receives it, you will be paid $241.00. Within two weeks, Microsoft will contact you for your address and then send you a cheque.


Charles S. Bailey
General Manager Field Operations

I thought this was a scam myself, but two weeks after receiving this e-mail and forwarding it on, Microsoft contacted me for my address and within days, I received a cheque for US$24,800.00. You need to respond before the beta testing is over. If anyone can afford this Bill Gates is the man. It's all marketing expense to him. Please forward this to as many people as possible. You are bound to get at least US$10,000.00.

We're not going to help them out with their e-mail beta test without getting a little something for our time. My brother's girlfriend got in on this a few months ago. When I went to visit him for the Baylor/UT game. She showed me her check. It was for the sum of $4,324.44 and was stamped "Paid In Full".

Like I said before, I know the law, and this is for real Intel and AOL are now discussing a merger which would make them the largest Internet company and in an effort make sure that AOL remains the most widely used program, Intel and AOL are running an e-mail beta test.

Pffft! What rubbish. Honestly,with no offense whatsoever to whoever sent me the mail, how can you be naive enough to believe that you could get "at least US$10,000" just by sending out a stupid mail. And if I WERE Bill Gates, I wouldn't just go around giving my money like that. I'd rather throw it away in a densely populated area, where I'd create a commotion of some kind. Stop traffic, even.

PLEASE, people. Use that mound of matter between your ears before forwarding mails of any sort. A simple search would verify your mail. Take for instance, those mails claiming to be from Hotmail claiming that you need to pay for your email unless you forward it to everyone on your mailing list.

Hello everyone I'm the chief executive of Hotmail and we're telling you to forward this to everyone you know so we won't delete your account, even that would go against the Consumer Law and numerous other laws you don't know about and would give you the right to sue us tenfold for breach of contract. Even though you have no credible evidence that I am telling the truth, you should just believe me because I say so and you are a gullible fool. So send this to everyone you know! Have a good day.

Mr. Bob
Chief Exec of Something

If a huge service provider like Hotmail were to seriously consider an action like that, it would probably have it's own page in the news. And they would probably send out and official mail to your inboxes. And why pay anyway? Server hosting is getting ridiculously cheap

I'm getting worked up just typing this out.

If you must know, I never forward 'Forwarded' mails that come my way. So what if I don't get the love of my life in the next 24 hours? So what if the bloody phone doesn't ring within the next 5 minutes? So what if I'm eternally condemned to being unlucky?

If the emails were somehow, mysteriously all-powerful and capable of giving me cooties Where-It-Itches-Most, I couldn't really care less. Considering the number of chain mails I've deleted, I should have accumulated enough bad luck for me to be tripping at every step I take and breaking every bone in my body, including my ossicles (little bones in your ear) for at least three lifespans. I should be waking up to being haunted by a ghost of a little girl under my bed every other day.


I wouldn't mind spam so much if there were pretty pictures to look at, though.

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