Wednesday, July 30, 2008

I swear it!

Recently, Winson and I gave some presentation in school about some Energy Audit project we did a month ago. It was quite well met, which made me quite glad actually.

The now (in)famous picture of Riza, imprinted in the minds of them impressionable school kids.

Of course, there were a couple of things we forgot to do. Forgetting to inform Mr. Jonathon (our IB coordinator) was obviously the biggest mistake. Besides the obvious, it turns out I was also a little rude on stage. ‘’Jonathan, you don’t use words like ‘darn’ or ‘crud’ on stage’’, said he, very civilly.

‘’Oh dang it’’, thought I.

Perhaps I was getting a little used to saying not-so-rude or crude words every time something slips, or every time I stub my toe on something. Well, fine. As much as possible, I’ll try not to say ‘darn’ or ‘dang’ or anything of the sort from now on. But ah, I need some sort of milder substitute to slowly wean myself off. Sorta like a nicotine patch for chain smokers.

I know! I’ll start swearing by ‘peanut butter’.

Yes lah, it’s very lame and nonsensical, but it gets the job done. Plus, I probably get points for coolness. Imagine a situation where Dai Ah Long (gangster guy) and I are walking and both of us almost got run over by a car.

Beep beep beep boop boobity boo beep beep beep’ (Guy starts swearing in Chinese, obviously censored. Plus, I don’t know enough Chinese to swear)

And then you’d hear ‘Peanut butter!’

Haha, I know, it sounds insane, but I happen to think it’s insanely cool as well.

Then you’d ask me, why bother? Just swear and be done with it. Well, I don’t really know. It might just be me who thinks it sounds a little crude to be swearing all the time.

I asked one of my classmates today why he was constantly swearing all the time.

"Oh, swearing amplifies the emotion I’m trying to convey. Say, if I was happy I’d say I’m ***************** happy so I would sound happier."

Right. I don’t think that’s an adequate enough justification, but all the same, if you enjoy swearing so much, by all means go ahead. I’m not the one making a fool of myself. The thing is, with every other person uttering expletives at every other thing nowadays, it’s become just so commonplace, so ordinary. Why, I might even dare say it’s downright boring and redundant.

Take for example, an exceedingly infuriated person. If he were to swear, he would probably sound like this:

Oh my BEEP you BEEPing BEEP BEEP BEEP, I’m am so going to BEEP BEEP your BEEP BEEP BEEPing BEEP and BEEP your BEEP up so that BEEP BEEP BEEP until you BEEP and BEEP and also BEEP, but not forgetting BEEP!! You BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP and your dog BEEP BEEP argh! You BEEP mushrooms are BEEP BEEP BEEP!!!! Tuna is BEEPing expensive BEEP BEEP BEEP. . .

And so on, so forth, etcetera, etcetera. . .

Practically nothing is left to the imagination. It’s all spelt out in beeping graphic detail for you. Another thing I have against swearing outright is that it’s just so . . . brainless (for lack of a better word). Any idiot could just start shouting random cuss words (in no particular chronological order) and that would constitute swearing. Bah, such humbug. Really, I think it's a particularly bad habit, much like scratching our bums in public or sneezing in the general direction of other people.

So if anyone asks me why I'm generally 'goody-good' and why I choose not to swear, now you know. Of course, there is the whole moral perspective, but besides that viewpoint, now you know.

Cheers :)

Oh and by the way, for some good intellectual swearing (hah, I keep telling myself there is such a thing) in action, honestly, none do it better than the English. Here’s a short clip from the movie ‘Monty Python and the Holy Grail’ for your enjoyment. Watch out for them Frenchies!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

A Small Death

My mouse died on a Sunday night. It was so strange, so sudden. Walking down the stairs to get my dinner, I stopped, stopped and noticed that one of my two mice was missing. It couldn't have escaped, I told myself. Rummaging through the heaps of bedding, a small head peeked out.

It's eyes were closed. It's mouth was agape.

It was dead.


















I didn't quite know what to do then. I held it gingerly in my palm, and it was stiff and devoid of warmth. 'I suppose I must bury it', I then told myself. In the garden I shoveled a shallow pit for my mouse. It was dark, and I couldn't see. I couldn't even see when I had to pat down the earth around the small, frail frame. But it was probably better that way. I couldn't bear the sight of the carcass bloated, a mere shell of what used to be.

Later that night, as I poked at my dinner with disinterest, I would remember. Remember how my mouse used to scamper around, warm, lively, alive. I would approach their little nest, and even when they slept, their little ears pricked up when I was around. Then they would run rings around each other, and sniff longingly at the air. But that was mostly gone now. I continued eating, but it was cold. It was quiet now.















There used to be two of them, but only one remains now. There used to be two, and I'd see them play with each other. And in that small way, I suppose they did make me happy.

Was I a bad owner? Didn't I feed them enough or clean their cage often enough? Didn't I take note of the signs of ailment? I can't quite say.

As I ate my dinner, and I wondered. Why do people really bother keeping pets if they're just going to die someday? I have friends who wept buckets upon the death of a pet. I wonder if it's really worth the anguish.

I wasn't exactly lachrymose about a dead mouse, but it did leave a hollow ring in my ears when I told myself that she was gone. Really, is it worth it?

We just have to resign ourselves to the fact that life goes on, no?

Jonathan.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

My Gay Thoughts

No you didn't read that wrong. I'm here to expound a little on thoughts I was entertaining as I read news on the whole political hullabaloo that has been playing out in our Malaysian circus. You know, the whole Anwar being accused of sodomy kind of thing. But, like most other bloggers, I'm quite resigned to blogging about the political viewpoint of the matters; it's just so darn confusing at this stage.

And no, I don't literally mean 'gay thoughts', but rather a few thoughts about the homosexual movement as a whole.

It just struck me as I was reading some opinions about the allegations against Anwar. Some of the more eloquent and thought-provoking writers offered their opinions on the matter, and it pretty much went like, 'Hey, we're really not interested in whether or not Anwar did sodomize the poor chap. Considering that he was a 23 year old lad, probably at the peak of his youth and vitality, and that Anwar was 60+ and had a bad back, it must have been an act of mutual consent, and we're not at all interested in what two consenting adults choose to do in the privacy of wherever. We're only interested if it involves embezzlement of the public funds, and etc etc...'.

Or even things like, 'Malaysia is homophobic for the reason that sodomy (a homosexual act) is criminalized'. Or something to that effect.

Now, note the two main criterion most people offer for an action to be justifiable morally. One, they're adults, and thus fully able to comprehend their decisions and the ramifications of their decisions.

Two, it involves two consenting adults, and from a post-modernist point of view, that would equate to 'We're just doing our thing, and it's not hurting anyone, so just let us be!'.

Well, alright. It seems to be the perception of most people that if its done by two consenting adults, just about anything is fine.

Well, then, I was just thinking to myself about what these very same people would say to a case of incest. Yes, incest, some totally whacked sexual relationship between two people in a family. After all, it does involve two very consenting adults. So if we're really all that keen on allowing people to run around being gay, I really have to ask, why not let a father marry his own daughter? Or better still, let a grandma marry her grandson, or great great grandson, or whatever you fancy?

And doesn't incest just strike you as wrong? Why then, do you ask yourself, is incest so wrong? What, it's not natural? But oh, I never really thought homosexuality was natural either. I might be wrong and my view on things might be totally distorted because I'm a closed-minded person and a Christian of all things (oh no, it's another one!); but after all, it's just my personal take on things.

You know, the thing is, I believe this whole being 'open-minded' is a farce when it comes to homosexuality. There is no real open-mindedness. Everyone is just plain selfish (I'm not absolving myself either). I think most (I'm not saying all, mind you) proponents of homosexuality are themselves closed-minded because they refuse to acknowledge that the grounds on which they justify their claims for validity are the very same grounds that can be used for a lot of other things, which would probably tickle their moral conscience as well. So really, when you refuse to acknowledge that, then it's a mockery in itself of this 'open-mindedness' that we should have.

Of course, if you could still say, 'oh yeah, sure, incest is totally fine with me', then my argument would totally fall and I'd really have nothing else to say. I'd just go home, brood over it and seriously think that our moral state of affairs is in VERY, VERY deep peanut butter (it's the best substitute I could think of to represent something brown and mushy).

And oh, don't even go to there. Where? The, 'Oh, you're another closed-minded Christian and so your arguments are so 1940. We live in the modern age! Your old school rules are no longer relevant!'.

Seriously, -.-''

One, by calling someone closed-minded, you're already refusing to accept whatever views the other has to share, regardless of its validity and rationale.

Two, how do you really know if we're 'closed-minded'? Don't you think that in this age of thinking, we (the C-dudes) would have examined and re-examined our values and asked ourselves if this is really what we believe in?

Honestly, I fall waaaaaaaaay away from the standard of what I dare to call a 'good' Christian, but even I have my core values, which I've asked myself if they were worth protecting, and come to a resounding 'yes'. And of course we've all thought about homosexuality and whether or not it was right or wrong based on both divine standards as well as on modern standards. Well, there are some people who couldn't be bothered about forming a personal opinion, but I think they're just dumb and so they don't come into the equation here.

And look, you know that highly-touted value of being able to speak up for what you believe in? A great majority of people think its great that gays and gay-like people are able to brave ridicule and sum up the courage to tell everyone they're really gay, or stuff. They think its absolutely great that they have the courage to speak up for what they believe in and all that. Well, well, newsflash, that's EXACTLY what I'm trying to do. I'm speaking up for what I believe in, whether it irks people or not.

I could probably think of a few more things to say, but I think this post is controversial enough as it is. I'm expecting backlash from some human rights group in Amsterdam or somewhere, but it's alright. I really hope this prompts everyone to actually think. If you have a nit to pick with me, then fine, but go take some time to think about it, then type it out in a readable manner. Then, we'll sit down for tea and chat.

Lastly, peace out, yo.

:) Jonathan