Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Chemicals in Action

I nearly got roasted today.

I got some Chemicals from the Lab to go home and experiment with. So there I was, happily stirring my Chemical X and Chemical Y (names obscured for YOUR safety) and then adding some Sodium Bicarbonate every now and then.











Crazy stuff, these two.


Well, I suppose no good comes from trying to do experiments in a Metal Tin over a Gas Stove. Still, I was itching to make something, so I went on ahead anyway.

And there I was, stirring a peanut-buttery like substance. I didn't really notice it, but eventually the chemicals got too hot, and all of a sudden. . .

WHOOSH! BANG BANGBALANG!

Before I knew it, I was Roast Ham.

































































I swear it! The flames were as high as my head and there was a MASSIVE amount of smoke given off. It looked as if my house had been hit by the haze of something. Fortunately, I only suffered some little burns. Imagine if that thing was pointed directly at me. Just look how burnt the can is (I used a perfectly shiny, new can, so go figure) !

Phew.

That does it, no more home-brewed chem experiments for me. Really really really. I'd like to keep all my body parts intact for now.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

The Lottery and I

Now reading : Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Now listening to : The Sounds of Traffic by Noisy Cars that are Passing My House
__________________________________________

The King And I.

I watched it at Istana Budaya last Sunday. Pretty good, but nothing I've never seen before.

















Probably the only thing I'll remember is meeting Pau (Danial Syafiq) there. I was taking the picture up there, when all of a sudden I got a message from him (that's why one hand is in my pocket). To quote him verbatim : 'I see u'

It sounded really stalkerish then. Scary lah.

And the only quote I remember from the play sounds something like this :

British Emissary Guy : Why Your Majesty, that speech you gave during dinner was just so amusing!
King : (In stuck up-ish voice) Yes, I know. I was forced to laugh. I was just so funny!
Jon : HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Snort snort snort*

Alright, moving on to the next event.

I got a lottery ticket!! And no, I didn't buy it myself.

















Here's the deal :

I went for a family dinner, it was my relative's 80th birthday so the family totally whacked the top floor of this Chinese restaurant. There were just so many people I've never seen before.

I never realized I was related to all those people I never even knew existed.

Since it was a birthday, we each got an ANGPAO, as was customary. After years of experience, I've come to realize there are a few ways to find out how much is inside. (Yes lah, I bet all of you are experts yourself).

This is a little off-season, but now is a time as good as any.
Anyway :

1. Hold up packet to the light (discreetly of course). Usually if it is thin enough, you'll see a glimmer of those lovely red or green notes peeking through the red packet.
2. Through the feel. Experienced angpao pickers will tell you instantly how much is inside with a little pressing and guessing.

So here we were, my cousins and I, wondering what was in the lovely packets. It didn't really feel right. Something was amiss.

Ripped open the packs. Found lottery tickets. What the Ham?!? Lottery tix of all things! Okay lah - I've never owned one before, so now I can safely say 'Been there, done that'. Still. . . what can you do with 'em?

Dunno. So I used it as a bookmark for Sherlock Holmes and totally forgot about it.

Some days later my dad was asking for it, since the results were out.


















O_O !!! Does that mean I'm now a Kazillion dollars richer? I was being optimistic bout things then. But WOW, I can just picture it now. . .


Rolling in the Benjamins, baby!


But wait, something was fundamentally wrong here. The date was correct. The numbers were correct. And then, WHAM. Reality slapped me in the $)*(@&$*(@$ really hard.

















It's MAGNUM 4-D donkey, I was looking at TOTO.

Crud.

So close, yet so far. Think of the amount of Char Kuey Teow I would have been able to buy. Sigh Sigh Sigh.

And so we learn another good moral to take home, from reading hamnoj.blogspot.com

NEVER GIVE YOUR GRANDKIDS LOTTERY TICKETS!
(even if you're Chinese and a 100 years old)

Thursday, July 19, 2007

hamnoj.blogspot.com has got a facelift!

As most of you would have noticed by now, unless you're new here (welcome!) I've changed the header for my blog. It used to be -







and is now changed to what you see at the moment.

Of course, here at hamnoj.blogspot.com the readers are just as important as me. That's right. Or actually, I'm a bit more important lah. So through some unofficial voting system, I'll let you choose which you prefer :

Ham Header

(old header)

or

Random Green Squiggly Things (current header)

Tell me what you think.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Light in Motion

The title is supposed to sound reeally cool, so if you didn't think so, do SAY SOMETHING at the nice little box thing at the side. I appreciate hearing feedback (or even things like 'LiKe OMG your bLog suxxxx').

Well anyway, with the exams looming ominously ahead I've had little time to blog and even less time for study. But some nights ago I was feeling restless and started toying with my camera (yes, yes it's a compact digicam, sigh).












This is my compact but . . . I WANT A DSLR and SARAH HAS ALREADY GOT ONE!
Unfair gila ()@*#()*@#.



Okay, so I have 2 words.........Loooong shutter speeeed.
(Yah, Imah gonna failmah math)

Here are the pics of my little experiment with long shutter speed :)


















My dad the stoner
I think this is looks really cool. My dad had to stand still for 15 seconds though. It looks as if he's oblivious to the world, which passes him by in a flash. It's slightly pinkish cause I messed with the colour balance. Looks better this way, though.




ME JON

This is me fooling around, trying to write my name with light. It's supposed to say JON, but didn't turn out all too well.





Light up a hill

In classic Black&White, just so the contrast shows better.




Flash

These red streaks are . . . fascinating, somehow. The leave a nice glowy after-effect.





Highway Blues (and yellows)
Took a short walk out to the highway to try and get some shots. Unfortunately, it was way too bright.

These shots are still pretty experimental; me messing with the controls and everything. Still, a compact doesn't give you the freedom a dSLR does. I so want one. I still can't believe Sarah has a Canon EOS 400D when I don't.

Yea lah, I'm too poor to buy one.


















Oh damn that is sexy. In bimbo lingo I'd say 'I like' but it's becoming so overused and abused it's just sad. So I say to you, 400D -

'Saya suka' (?)

Farewell, good citizens! (<- has nothing to do with the quote below) Au revoir! Je ne parle pas français!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

The Ethical Arguments For See-Ham

From the recent slowing of posts, I'm sure most of you realize I've been getting busier and so can't post so often lah.

In fact, I'm supposed to finish up a Euthanasia thing (so morbid, I know) but it's so mind-boggling I'm taking my break even before I start. teruknya saya - so I have to make this quick.

So here it is, a way to win any argument against your friends (I will not be held be responsible in the case of hearing 'I don fren you oredi' from your beloved buddies should you put this method into practice).

But it's really easy to pull off so don't fret over it.

Ahem, let's now assume I'm arguing with Abu over whether or not it is morally wrong to order Char Kuey Teow without see-hams (bloody cockles, which are pronounced see-hum but I like ham, so sue me).










The conversation goes somfink like this :

Abu : Eh, Jon ah, why you donwan see-ham in your char kuey teow? Darn nice wei, especially with all the bloody stuff. You sure you Chinese ah?
Jon : Well don't I look Chinese? (Presents argument for not ordering see-ham)

*Jon unfurls 100 page essay with no paragraph breaks with size 10 and (eeeee!) Times New Roman font*

*Abu's eyes implode*

Abu : Okok macha, you win. Just keep your essay thingamajiggy away.



















Drawn by Eugene. I imagine Abu to look like this upon imploding.
Ignore the rude Cantonese words, btw.

Jon is triumphant. Yay.

So there you have it, an example of how to win an argument. Just substitute in whatever arguments you might have into the situation and write a long long master thesis about it. I'd like to do that for my Euthanasia essay too but if my teacher's eyes implode I might mysteriously fail this subject evaluation. Tsk tsk, life's unfair.

P/s : Oh, and awhile back someone actually did ask me if I was Chinese. Her name was Jeandre (she was South African) and she had the loveliest eyes but don't mind that for now.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

The Great Escapade

Hello again everyone, today I'll be introducing my bimbotic alter-ego : 'Jonnyboi~'

YES. With the squiggly ~ sign. Say hello, Jonny.

Uhm....hie

Since I declare myself on sick leave from blogging today, I'll let him (Jonnyboi~) take over for now. Eh Jonnyboi~ ah, make sure you fill our readers in, alright?

Bye~ (ack, it's contagious lah)

(2 miliseconds of profound silence)

PHEEEEEWWWW, liek, dusn dat guy just get on ur nerves? He talks sooooo much and uses soooooo many big big bomb-ass-stick words! My head oso get headache alredi! OK lah Im supposed to tell u guyz about someting very very interesting.

But first I must lay out sum rulez for those pplz who mite not understand dis complikeyted post.

All good bimbo blogz (like mine) must hv dese things:

1. PINK!!! heheheh~~~~~

2. i SUmtImEz liKe TOo TyPE LiEk Dis bUT I gOt headachES today so will tyep normally liek dis so dat its easier for u not so smart ppls so you can read.

3. Looooooadzz of zzzzzzz after every character/word/sentence like dis :

eg: example: i wentzz to de zoozzzz and saw my friendzzzz! dere!! hehe~ and Riza(zzzz) waz acting like der monkeyzzz! hahahaha!

4. Must have bad punctuation (i ctrl-c dis bigword from internet, i hope you knoe wad dis meanzz~~~) liek the above sentence.

5. SMILLEY FACES!! :) :)
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :D

6. Must be veri de ah lian (eg example contoh : say lah, mah, bah (for sabah-ans), liau and an assortment (i ctrl-c again! so keng leh) of misspelled words and oso chillax)

7. Take lots of pictures of myself~! Itz called camwhoring but sinz im a guy, i camgig!!! hahahahahahahz so funny lah me. i make joke! heheh.

and de lastestest and bestestest iz...........

Oh hi Jon, ur back. Wait....wad are you doing wid dat big heavy looking thing?
You betta becareful in case u hit........wei.........ouch.

*Insert sounds of a bimbotic male getting clobbered with a big-heavy-looking object here*

I'm really sorry I had to put you through all that.

Someone's had been particularly stupid and blonde (no no, not Paris Hilton)-

(GASP! Jonmah has committed the unhammable sin of stereotyping! C'mon angry mob, let's all throw thick slabs of streaky bacon at him!)

-and so I'll tell you what my other self was supposed to tell you now.

Well today in class Mr Winson came up with the brilliant idea that some of us should go running around Malaysia and beyond (Singapore) on a tight budget. You know, just to see if we live or not. WHAT A BRILLIANT IDEA!

Seriously, it's cool. This is the plan as of now, and is subject to change-

In groups of three students :

1. From school (Sri KDU) we'll be stripped (wait lah, don't get so excited) of belongings - that means money, phones and extra underwear.

2. We find the means to get our own money and get our sorry butts all the way to Singapore. (Malaysians are generally not so kiasu with their money, so it's not half impossible)

3. In Singapore, we're given our budget of 50 sing dollars since they're really kiasu with their money and it would be near impossible to beg, or even for Riza to offer his 'services' for money. Then, we've got a few tasks to complete in the span of 24 hours. And knowing Miss Kalai, It'd probably be things like 'Meet Lee Kuan Yew and tell him that his country is like a little nose-picking on the world atlas'.

4. Get our (by then) even sorrier butts back to Malaysia, land of the Nasi Lemak.

What an adventure it'll be..and you'll be the first to read about it! Aren't you glad now that I've brain-washed you and utterly hooked you to this blog? Even if you're not, do tell me you are just so I die happy.

I'm just really free at the moment lah, okay? <- the statement that justifies the existence of my blog.

postscript : I got a headache and eye strain just from typing out in PINK. And my brain hurts from thinking of so many stupid things to write. It's not as easy as it seems after all. But I guess now I understand why bimbo blogs thrive in such abundance. You can write whatever nonsense you want and people STILL read AND comment (much unlike what goes on here). Of course, I've greatly exaggerated the typical female bimbo. I apologize to the feminists out there.


Signing out, Jonathan.