Sunday, April 27, 2008

Chem 6A

Hello all!

In our chem class recently, we studied Markovnikov's rule, and unless you’re a die-hard chem fanboy, I doubt you’ll be interested in reading a whole post about it. Srsly.

Srsly -this means Seriously, in LOLspeak, a language I happen to be quickly assimilating, unfortunately, for you. :)

A paragraph of LOLspeak would sound something like this:

Yo! Like srsly, I don’t fink u wanna heer mi speek abowt dis Chem thingy bt u’d radder heer mi talk abowt thingz asploding. Eryone luvs watchyng things asplode. Like OMGWTFBBQ! It asploded! Yeah I like asploding things too bt the teory bhind the thingz iz also impowtant. Like srsly yo. So I has made talk abowt dis Markovnikov thingy coz itz impowtant for organik chem synthesis yo.

I think you get the idea so I’ll stop now :)

I liek bizkits! w00t!


So one day we were sitting down in a Chemistry lesson. It was actually pretty dull. I mean honestly, as much as I love Chem, the Markovnikov theory isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. So when you’re bored you start doodling. And because you are a lifeless IB student, you start doodling and drawing cartoons about CHEM.

But srsly, how do you remember a name like Markovnikov? This is where the brilliant Riza comes to the rescue.

‘It’s pronounced My-konek-cough la!’


Okay, so Mr Lawrence could tell we were a bit restless. I think.

‘You know Markovnikov? Have you ever seen his face? You hold on!’ and with that, Mr Lawrence disappears into his mysterious preparation room to get something. I thought he was getting a picture of the M-dude la, duh.

But no! Mr Lawrence came out with a big wad of cotton – and we were all like WHATTHEHAM!?!? Okla, it was just me coz no one else likes ham in my class.

‘You know Mr Markovnikov? He’s really hairy! Like, super bushy’, exclaims our sprightly teacher. And guess what he does?

Hilarity ensues. I tell you, we’ve lost track of how many ‘facelifts’ we’ve given the skeleton. But well, I suppose they do look quite similar.

With all do respect Sir, you’re a great Chemist, but copious amounts of hair in the scientific society always lead to you being made fun of. Think Einstein.

Who ever said scientists had no sense of humour?

And because I recognize just how important the Markovnikov theory is to man(and woman)kind, I’ll give you a brief rundown of it.

Eh, no grumbling yo, or I maek ur head asplode wif my cuteness.

Just to make it bearable, I’ll add little black and white diagrams! Ain’t that something?

Okay, let’s start with a molecule.

This is the Chick molecule, for want of avoiding ‘standard IUPAC nomenclature’ (fancy-schmancy names)

Srsly. Too complicated wei.

Ok lah. So right, the reaction involves two molecules reacting. The other one:

Okay, so the current chick atom attached to Jon is angry, because of his promiscuity and numerous reactions with atoms of other elements. But Jon spots the Chick molecule, with so many chick atoms in it, and is then attracted. Angry chick atom has enough, so they break up, leaving the Jon atom unattached.

And because the Jon atom has really high electronegativity (high degree of hotness or whatever), he gets an invite to join the big big molecule really soon after the breakup! So shallow eh? But they’re atoms, and it’s all about the chemistry! Heeey, don’t look at me like that.

But there are two places he can sit. So the big question is


That’s all there is to the theorem. It was made to answer that question. Heheh, I feel kinda important all of a sudden. :)

Right, so back to the case of where Jon would sit. Logically, if you were an electron sucking atom (or well, in our human context it’s probably equivalent to a hot-blooded male) you’d want the spot with more electrons right?

That’s a happy molecule, if I’ve ever seen one.

That’s all there is to the My-Konek-Cough theory. Given the option,the Jon molecule sits on the side where there are more chicks la! So easy! Tersangat kekacangan! Hen pian yi! Eh, I mean, rong yi.

Cheh wa, I should become a Chemistry teacher and draw more pretty pictures.

Hope you enjoyed the lesson.

Putting on what Khairul calls my 'mischevious look'. Don't we all look so happy? Not the guy in the middle though, he's a real heartless dude.

The Professors.

We're asploding your head! LOL.


aggie said...

buddy, r u trying to tell the world that u r hot?!! using chemistry term?!! OMG!!

but, anyway u can really be a excellent chem teacher.. a humorous one..

anyway, certain words kinda funny la...
tersangat kekacangan?!
heng pian yi?!
srsly... cincai la!! hahaha..

Jonathan Mah said...

like srsly, i wasn't doing that laa!

but thanks anyway :)

Khairul said...

weh, srsly, why does 'srsly' has become such a fancy word to use, eh agnes n jon?

Faizal Hamssin said...

haha why didnt u mention about us being plunged into the state of sub-consciousness during the chem lesson. haha
btw u look really2 like that guy with that cool moustache. a vision of jonmah in the future. srsly.

Jonathan Mah said...

because it's darn cool la! doncha think so? i think its srsly cool la, so like, srsly, it deserves more frequent usage in our day to day grammar.

woohoo! :)

Jonathan Mah said...

Oh-My-Ham fayzal! you used srsly too!

I'm so glad you learned another word to fit into your already confoundingly befuddling vocabulary!

and uh, do you really think i should grow a moustache? coz like i've been trying to force it to grow through daily intense meditation, you know, because the mind overcomes the body and all that mojo, but apparently, it's not working!

blah, i'm so hyped up now. thanks for the comments!

alenn said...

srsly srsly, im like srsly, learning chemistry srsly yaw! =D